[데브리북] Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

 

 

파울로 코엘료, 오자히르

 

 

 

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It wasn't an affair; it came about simply because we had nothing else to do. It had been a bit of a dull day, neither of us had any pressing engagements after lunch, and the game of seduction always adds a little zest to life, which is why we ended up in bed together.

 

There's nothing else very interesting to do, the woman is looking for excitement, I'm looking for adventure, and that's that. The next day, you both pretend that nothing happened, and life goes on.

 

 

 

 

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I want to believe that it is wonderful to be free. Free again. Ready to find my one true love, who is waiting for me and who will never allow me to experience such humiliation again.

 

 

 

 

 

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Some people appear to be happy, but they simply don't give the matter much thought. Others make plans: I'm going to have a husband, a home, two children, a house in the country. As long as they're busy doing that, they're like bulls looking for the bullfighter: they react instinctively, they blunder on, with no idea where the target is. They get their car, sometimes they even get a Ferrari, and they think that's the meaning of life, and they never question it. Yet their eyes betray the sadness that even they don't know they carry in their soul. Are you happy?

 

I don't know if everyone is unhappy. I know they're all busy: working overtime, worrying about their children, their husband, their career, their degree, what they're going to do tomorrow, what they need to buy, what they need to have in order not to feel inferior, etc. Very few people actually say to me: 'I'm unhappy.' Most say: 'I'm fine, I've got everything I ever wanted.' Then I ask: 'What makes you happy?' Answer: 'I've got everything a person could possibly want - a family, a home, work, good health.' I ask again: 'Have you ever stopped to wonder if that's all there is to life?' Answer: 'Yes, that's all there is' I insist: 'So the meaning of life is work, family, children who will grow up and leave you. a wife or husband who will become more like a friend than a real lover. And, of course, One day your work will end too. What will you do when that happens?'...

 

 

 

 

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We just don't all have the courage to follow our dreams and to follow the signs. Perhaps that's where the sadness comes from.

 

I don't know. And I'm not saying that I'm unhappy all the time. I have fun, I love you, I adore my work. Yet now and then, I feel this profound sadness, occasionally mingled with feelings of guilt or fear; the feeling passes, but always comes back later on, and then passes off again. Like Hans, I ask that same question; when I can't answer it, I simply forget. I could go and help starving children, set up a foundation for street children, start trying to save people in the name of Jesus, do something that would give me the feeling I was being useful, but I don't want to.

 

 

 

 

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I'm saying that, during the time I spent in the hospital, I came to realize that I was always looking for myself in the women I loved. I looked at their lovely, clean faces and saw myself reflected in them. They, on the other hand, looked at me and saw the dirt on my face and however intelligent or self-confident they were, they ended up seeing themselves reflected in me and thinking that they were worse than they were. Please, don't let that happen to you.

 

반응형

 

 

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That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Compete the circle. Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.

 

 

 

 

 

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People who look at themselves in the mirror and think themselves ugly, believing that being beautiful is what really matters, and spend their time reading magazines in which everyone is pretty, rich, and famous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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영어로 읽어도 어렵지 않았고 정말 바쁜 시기였음에도 불구하고 틈틈히 시간을 내서 읽었을 만큼 집중해서 읽었던 파울로 코엘료의 <오자히르>

 

밀리의 서재를 구독하고 나서는 한국어로 읽고싶은 책을 마음껏 읽어도 되다보니, 영어로 쓰인 책을 확실히 멀리하게 된다. 시간은 많지만 핸드폰만 만지작 거리다보면 어느새 뇌가 피곤해져서, 딱 핸드폰 멀리하고 책을 읽을 작정을 하지 않는 이상 맘 먹고 종이책을 꺼내서 독서하는 시간은 좀처럼 갖기가 힘든 것 같다. 읽고 싶으면 그냥 핸드폰에서 밀리의 서재로 바로 읽고, 술술 읽히는 한국어로 쓰인 책이 늘 읽고 싶다. 

 

중고로 사오거나 길에서 주워온 책들(?)이 많으니 6월엔 잠시 밀리의 서재는 멀리하고 한권이라도 종이책, 영어로 쓰인 책을 다시 읽어보자.